January is the silent month at Mandali. Everybody becomes silent, including the staff. So silent that you hear the wind, the birds, your breath. So silent that you feel yourself again, that you become aware of the very silent being that inhabits you.
I love it, and most of my retreats are at least partially in silence. It’s a sacred time and a unique time. A time to come to rest and discover your underlying Self. That Self which in itself holds the qualities of love, peace, tranquility, vastness, eternity, the universe.
What is Silence for me?
Silence first came to me in a 10-day Vipassana Retreat with Jack Kornfield in the desert of Nevada, USA. On the first day I wanted to run; on the last day I didn’t want to talk anymore. This was the beginning of a long love affair with silence.
The reason why I love silence so much is that I feel it allows me and the people that are with me to dive into a place beyond the mind, a place of pure being. And from there the heart opens up and more love starts to spread and flow.
Socializing often used to either bore or exhaust me. For me, a sane society would consist of 50% talking and 50% silence. A lot of people fear not feeling connected anymore to others in silence. But you are. The other senses start to open up and you may feel others much better. And especially the “heart sense” opens up much more and you start to feel that “one love” we all talk about.
“The only language able to express the whole truth is silence”. ~ Ramana Maharshi
Why are people hesitant about Silence/Silent Retreats?
Some people, who inquire about a silent retreat, are afraid of the silence.
And it’s understandable. Because maybe we hold memories of negativity connected to silence. As children we might have been told to sit still or to be quiet, more like a punishment.
And if you go into silence for a while, you don’t know what to expect. You go into the unknown. And we usually don’t like that. We like to know and be in control. When you let go of control and enter the door of silence, anything can come up. It can be repressed emotions, it can be a void, it can be boredom, it may be a confrontation with the so-called ‘monkey mind’, the chattering of the mind/thought process. But it may also be, that you come in contact with deep bliss, peace and stillness.
And there you are, just looking at it all.
What are the benefits of Silence/Silent Retreats?
“The diamond is hidden in the lotus flower”, as they say in the Tibetan Mantra “Om Mani Padme Hum”. Based on this, a silent retreat offers the chance to lift the veil of the mind or Ego and discover the perfume of the Self, the essence of who we truly are. And when we come in touch with this, we get a sense of the love, truth, happiness, vastness, that gives us a taste of the true Self, that we are, behind all the personal layers.
In everyday life we often do everything we can to cover up that Self. We overwork, we keep ourselves overly busy, we spend too much time on social media, we consume chocolate, overeat, drink alcohol or use recreational drugs, just to not face that void behind it, which in fact just stands in front of the everlasting peace, love and universal vastness that we are.
With proper guidance, a silent retreat always contains the opportunity to discover who you truly are. And this is in fact what all spiritual practices aim for, what all religions point to; this signifies the end of the search.
Silence
If I fully immerse myself in her,
In Silence,
Really become her,
Then she easily leads me through the day,
Slightly floating above the ground,
Slightly shifted from consensus reality.
Then it all happens without effort,
Life just happens,
Without having to make many decisions,
IT decides for me.
Leading to countless miraculous coincidences.
It makes so much sense,
If I just give myself up
To life,
It knows what to do
With me.
And when I learn to read these coincidences,
I can surrender even more
And trust,
That life, existence already takes care of me.
It has proved it to me so many times.Surrender,
Again and again.
This is the learning.
Why do we need Silence?
In the noisy active Western lifestyle we need times of silence to rest and reconnect with ourselves. Silent times are times to listen to our inner voice, the voice of intuition and wisdom. These are times where we create an inner space of presence and peace.
Without silent times we tend to identify too much with the Ego, the mind, the feelings, the body, the sorrows, the stories, the news, etc. The identification with the personal stuff creates suffering. As soon as we take some time off and become quiet – be it a 15-minutes meditation, sitting on a chair and watching the trees or going for a walk – we can sort things out and see more clearly again.
This clear seeing comes from a certain distance that we take to the thoughts, feelings and body sensations. Through this distance, the observer’s view, we create a space of freedom, agility and possibility to act differently. Therefore we could say, silence adds to creating more peace, since you act more from a place of stillness, then from a driven place of Ego.
Moments of Silence: How can you integrate Silence in everyday life?
- Cut the carrots with full awareness! Bringing awareness to all the activities in everyday life. It was the message of the Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh, who encouraged us to use all activities to transform them into a meditation by bringing total presence to them.
- Look out of your window or sit on your balcony and look into nature, motionless. Best is first thing in the morning with a cup of tea. Let yourself be moved by the movements of the leaves and plants; let yourself be enchanted by the singing of the birds.
- Meditate! Meditation is THE practice to get from the identified Ego to the disidentified Self, to see things from a different perspective, from the observer’s view. In meditation you go in, and that’s needed in order to see clearly. If you feel you have no time for meditation, just take 5 minutes, and sit still and observe what’s going on inside, it can be on a chair, on the floor, on your meditation cushion. If you have more time, I suggest 10 min., 15 min., 20 min., 30 min., 40 min. (40 min. is the classical Zen and Vipassana time frame). See which time-span corresponds to you and go with that!
- Go outside for a walk, along a river, through fields, into the forest. Nature will help you to ventilate your head and find your center again.
- Try out a Silent Day! I suggest a Silent Sunday. If you have a partner or live with other people, you may inform them that you won’t speak for that day. Maybe they will even join you. If you have children, that might be more difficult, but you could also try to let them know that Mama or Papa will be a bit more silent that day.
In our Outdoor Retreats we always keep the mornings silent until Brunch, also with children, and we are amazed how well the children cope with Silence. It’s often the adults that think it’s not possible for children, but it is, if you explain it to them in an appealing way (f.e. that animals and plants are also mostly silent, and you can see and hear more animals if you are silent) and you keep it loosely, so they can also ask something by whispering whenever they need to.
Why should you come to a Silent Retreat?
To be in silence in a group is a great gift. The group supports you. You are not alone. And you will see that others also go through the same things as you. It is a courageous thing. And you are all in it together.
The teacher has an important role in a silent retreat. He or she holds the quiet space of presence into which all participants can immerse themselves in. The teacher is guiding the whole group through the silent days and gives pointers to the underlying deeper sense of Self.
The nice thing about the silent retreats at Mandali is that they are not as strict as the 10-day Vipassana Retreats. They are more joyful, more diverse, without losing their depth. At Mandali they consist of meditation, movement meditation, Yoga, Qi Gong, Nature Walks, sometimes Dance, Q&A or Satsangs, where people can bring forth their questions that come up or talk about their struggles and get answers and help. All the practices aim to help the participants to make it easier to come from the mind to the heart and from the heart to the Self.
So really – a silent retreat at Mandali is a piece of cake!
Evelyne Vuilleumier comes from Switzerland and is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, Gestalt Therapist, Yoga Teacher and teaches a further education in Spiritual Psychotherapy. She published the book “Utterings of Truth” in 2020, from which the above poem is quoted. Evelyne will facilitate a Silent Retreat the 12 – 17 January 2025, focusing on Yoga, Meditation & Satsang as well as the Easter Silent Retreat in Mandali.