Interview: What I love about ageing – with Prema

What’s the most rewarding thing about getting older?

I experience that time has more space. I can breathe deeply, I experience more space inside my container, like it is getting bigger inside. The capacity of including more things, situations are less black and white. There is an understanding that brings grace, and I am more patient and accepting.

I have more of a 360 degree point of view, and better able to see the bigger picture. It might have to do with the fact that I have been on a spiritual path for 40 years, it could be a result of that. I feel open, spacious. Also, a big bonus, I don’t have to worry about what men think anymore!

Who was the most influential person in your life?

My father. He was always supportive of me, whatever I was interested in, encouraging me, making me feel I could do anything, he never said no. This gave me so much independence and freedom to be myself. We had a lot in common about philosophy and literature. He had so many ideas, he even built a theater for us as kids, he taught us how to express emotions without violence, he was an amazing story teller. He was my first teacher. He taught us how to paint with our hands and feet, he was wild and fun. We loved Nietzsche, Dostoievsky, Kirkegaard, and poetry, because of him.

Later on, Osho was my spiritual teacher, and funnily enough – the first book by him was given to me by my dad. He was proud of me choosing the spiritual path.

As a 40-year-old, what advice would you give me?

Don’t choose your path in life because of a man!

When you think of ageing, what emotions does it trigger?

I feel gratitude and happiness, because I have experienced a lot of love in my life. I had beautiful love stories and friendships, each relationship the right one for my age at the time. It is so important to feel loved, to do what you do in every age.

What’s your favorite invention that was released in your lifetime?

I was very excited by my first mobile phone, for sure! My ex-husband and I both got a phone at the same time, and we loved calling each other randomly. It was the first banana Nokia. It struck me to realize that I could reach someone on the street at any time.

How has your definition of beauty changed?

When I was young, I was glowing, very beautiful and I had a lot of attention from men. I was so bothered by the attention, and also, a part of me enjoyed it. On the other hand, it also made me feel vulnerable. I am happy that I am free of all that; I had the love I wanted, I felt desired so I don’t feel like I regret anything.

Now I feel what makes me beautiful with age is my inner space, my capacity to be comfortable with myself, forgiving myself and others. It makes me feel beautiful, and I don’t need others to tell me that.

My body is changing, my face is changing – I’m very different. So the outer look is not the same, but the beauty I feel inside is immense. I feel so good, I see wisdom, openness and my cup is full. I have a great understanding of others, I see people, and I feel proud of that. I also feel the true love I receive from people is from those who really see me for who I am, and it comes from those who truly count. Sometimes that makes me a little sad, and I recognize the need to confront that.

I really love what I see when I look at myself.

If you could go back to any age, which would it be?

Between 25-35, for sure. At 25 I joined a commune, and I felt that I found the reason for coming into this world. I dove into inner seeking completely, and it became very clear that my life would be dedicated to service of my own inner realization and that of others. I don’t see those two as separate things, so a communal setting is my way to go, it is where inner transformation can happen.

I’m not in a commune anymore, but that’s where I realized the impact of a buddha field a group can create.

One of my favorite quotes:
“The next Buddha will not take the form of a person.

The next Buddha will rather take the shape of a community, a community that practices understanding and loving kindness, a community that practices a way of conscious living.

This may be the most important thing for Earth’s survival.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

What should we not waste time on, as 30/40 year olds?

Making others happy, caring too much about what others think. I did it for a while, and I regret it, I felt I wasted 6 years of my life. It’s like I took a pause in life from the age 37-43, I didn’t follow my own gut and was living in a dream, wanting to fulfill other people’s expectations.

As you enter this new season of life, how has it impacted your relationship with spirituality?

It has changed a lot. I’ve been very fortunate to meet great masters in my youth who gave me the foundations to my spirituality. This was important, I really learned the art of surrender. It is different now, I am not anymore focused on someone else, a teacher, a master. My spiritual world is much broader now, and since then I feel that on this path I’m truly on my own.

Even though I still have great realized teachers now, people I seek out for consolation, I do not call them my guru and I am not in search of masters. Things are happening on a different level now. I see my own wisdom, which is inside all of us. After all these years, I feel like I have a opened a door to this wisdom, which I can access when I need to and it is always available to me to dive into. When I listen to spiritual teachers now, it just deepens my connection into that door, that space, which is myself.

The biggest gratitude I have for a master is when I sit in front of them and I see myself.

What do you most value at the age 65? Who are you most interested in spending time with?

I love spending time with very close women friends and I enjoy deep intimate talks. I love to talk about life, how we are walking through it. I love listening to stories from others, both men and women. I’m not interested in superficial small talk, except for when it comes to clothes and shoes 🙂

I also love spending time in silence with people, going on walks, to a cafe, not necessarily talking all the time. I like spending time with people who enjoy silence.

And, I enjoy my own company very much, I love being by myself. Its necessary for me to have my own space.

I do love a good party, but with the right people. What I value the most is true friendship.

About Prema

Prema Bellucci is the Vision Holder of Mandali, and oversees the Mandali Experience Programme. Her passion for self-discovery and helping others find their home within themselves is her life’s purpose, a purpose shared by Mandali. Her care and dedication is felt in all the details of your experience as a retreat participant.

Have you ever felt there was a life waiting to be lived inside of you? 

We enter this world as a blank canvas, pure energetic beings with no marks upon our psyche nor limits to what we can do, be or imagine. As we grow, we experience and learn how to interact with the world – we learn to walk, talk, and survive in our surroundings, we learn not to get too close to the fire and to look both ways before crossing the street. All necessary limits we must respect and follow to keep us safe on our journey of life. 

Over time, we accumulate many different types of rules and limitations, handed down to us by family, friends, and institutions, we slowly become educated on how we must be to fit into society. These experiences influence our beliefs and form our perspectives, creating our worldview of what is possible.  

“I believe ordinary people can do extraordinary things”
Patricia Stephens Due

The power of belief

At the age of ten, my Year 6 teacher told my parents during a parent/teacher interview that I would struggle in high school. I was falling behind the rest of the class and my grades were slipping. I heard this for the first time on my 21st birthday and by that stage, I had completed my bachelor’s degree in psychology and criminology and had recently received a promotion at work for quickly picking up systems and processes faster than my fellow employees. I was Intelligent, well-read, and articulate. Completely unaware that at any point in time someone would have described me as a struggling student.

My parents had spared me from the knowledge that I was underperforming for my age. This freed me from a belief that had the potential to jeopardise my entire future. I may have never enrolled in pre-university units or applied for university at all. I may have never given myself the chance if I believed I wasn’t smart enough. 

This was one belief I was lucky enough to escape, but there were many others that impacted my life and stopped me from taking chances on what I felt to do in my heart. 

You can’t do that!

No

Be quiet

Sit Still

Do what you’re told

That’s not possible!

Keep dreaming!

That won’t work because ….

I’ve heard it all. Reason after reason of every combination of what is and is not possible. Different perspectives from all types of people. Many living from a place of fear, imposed their limited mindset on my developing mind, telling me why something wouldn’t work or that I should play small to survive. As I grew, I met others with a completely different point of view, they believed the world was full of opportunity and that nothing was off-limits. Both people are right in their own minds, each manifesting their reality based on what they believed. 

Over time, I began questioning my own beliefs and instead started listening to the quiet voice inside me begging me to take a chance on what I loved. I took a deep dive into the unknown, risking failure and ignoring the thoughts in my mind telling me it wouldn’t work. One by one I began to break through my limiting beliefs that had built up over the years and it became clear to me that they were in fact an illusion.  I was more than capable of doing and achieving what my heart wanted to try. I learned to snowboard, and surf, completed a yoga teacher training, danced, and started my own business. There was no limit to what I set my mind to. The only barrier I faced was my belief in what was possible… Beyond this lay my infinite potential to be and to do whatever I wanted. 

Our beliefs are precious and powerful beyond measure

Belief determines what we choose to take a risk on or whether we choose to play it safe. Transformation requires us to empty the beliefs that hold us back and reconnect with the innate wisdom we were born with – that Beyond the limits of learned experience and inherited rules, lies a world full of infinite possibilities. A world where roadblocks shift and move beyond the realm of possibility in unexplainable ways. We owe it to ourselves to explore our beliefs, question their truth, and nurture those that support us in living our best lives. 

What beliefs have stopped you from doing what you love? 

Were you advised that a career in the arts wasn’t sensible, so you never enrolled in that art class? 

Were you told you couldn’t dance or sing when you were only just learning? 

Did failing at school stop you from taking a chance on a business idea or career path? 

What have you not taken a chance on because you believed it wasn’t possible?

It seems easier to play by the rules, to be ‘smart’ and ‘responsible’ as opposed to taking risks on dreams that are abstract and seem like a fantasy. Many people have chosen this path and despite following the rules are sometimes let down by what they were told was the best option, denying the feeling inside of them, ignoring the unlived dream yearning to be seen and heard. 

“You can fail at what you don’t want so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.” –  Jim Carrey

Are you willing to take the other path? The road less traveled leads into the unknown guided by the wisdom that lies within you. Where a completely new way of becoming available to you. Beyond the perimeter of your thoughts, beyond the rules presented to us within society awaits a world where anything is possible. 

I believe many of us have the power to wake up from a limited mindset, that underneath all of it is an innate ability to do and be whatever you want. Whether it’s to Dance, sing, travel, or teach yoga. Extraordinary things lie within us yearning to be expressed and shared. So…… In the times you find yourself alone when it is quiet and still, listen to the wisdom that lies within your heart and ask…. What extraordinary gifts lie waiting within me?

About Chloe Weston

Chloe creates a business vision based on what a person shares with her about what is in their heart. She captures it in writing in a way that truly represents them and speaks directly to their ideal audience to be used for their Website, Blog, Newsletters, or Social Media. She’s a passionate creative entrepreneur who values honest expression and living in harmony with the natural world. Writing, for her, is a creative journey that lights up my world. She loves using it to give conscious and creative entrepreneurs and businesses a voice in order to make the world a better place to be. “My process gives your vision structure, clarity, and an inspiration boost to help you move forward in following your heart. Let’s co-create your conscious business today.”~ says, Chloe.

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