Tag: awareness

Insight & Imagination: In Conversation with Fidan Huseyni

Posted on by Silvia Eriksson

Every so often, someone comes along whose presence feels like a bridge between the seen and unseen: a solid hand in the practical world, guided by a deep inner compass. Fidan Huseyni is one of those people. As a long-time member of Mandali’s Marketing and Visioning team, she helps shape the way Mandali is experienced from the outside in, and the inside out.

In this edition of the Mandali Insight Questionnaire, Fidan shares what makes life feel meaningful to her: from sacred work to sunrise swims, from heartfelt relationships to asking herself the kinds of questions that matter at the end of it all. Her answers are a gentle invitation to slow down, listen in, and remember what truly fulfills us.

How do you define a fulfilling life?

  • Connection to the Divine – this is the bedrock for me.
  • Quality Relationships – Authentic, loving, inspiring relationships. Both with oneself and with others. Even with the natural world.
  • Sacred Work – Engaging in work that is meaningful and enjoyable. Using one’s energy, time and talent to contribute to the world in your unique way.
  • Creative outlets & hobbies – life is so much more enjoyable when we follow our curiosities and enter flow states. Exploring whatever makes us lean in inevitably leads to fulfillment, on some level.
  • & going to bed grateful.

Tell us about a time in your life when you felt most aligned with your true nature and why.


Very often this feeling gradually envelops me over the course of a quality, week-long retreat, where I reconnect to my true nature that is inherently whole, peaceful, alive and full of love. I let go of the autopilot mechanisms, my typical habits, my phone, and melt into a timeless, abundant realm of being.

When not on retreat, it’s when I’m in my creativity, hosting a gathering for loved ones, basking in nature, or doing good work that has some ripple of impact.

What question do you ask yourself often?


How would 80-year old me feel about this? Is this something I might regret doing or not doing? How would I feel about this on my deathbed?


What does your ideal day off/or working day look like?


I could go on and on with minute details for an entire day, so I will just give you my ideal ‘off-day’ morning.


Wake up somewhere tropical with the sun and go for a sunrise dip (walking distance from my home, ideally), dry off, sit silently for some minutes, then write my morning pages with an oat milk latte out in some majestic garden or under a fig tree, sitting in a very cosy armchair.

Once i’m done writing, go find a loved one to hug and give a morning kiss to. Change of clothes and get into the gym for an hour of Muay Thai training, followed by an outdoor shower and someone making me a hearty breakfast of sausages, avocado on toast and sweet potato fries. Maybe finish off with some fresh, sliced, super sweet pineapple.


What is your relationship with Mandali like?


Supportive, mystical, generous and rooted in the field of possibilities. I am beyond blessed that Mandali is a key part of my life, and vice versa. I started off as a repeat guest, fell in love with its spirit, started collaborating professionally and now I’m entering my fourth year as part of the Mandali team, taking care of the marketing and special projects. A gift from the heavens.

I’ve Been Here Before: Swimming in the Sewage River of Shame

Posted on by Silvia Eriksson

In this raw and deeply honest reflection, Erinbell Fanore invites us into the vulnerable terrain of body shame – a place many of us have visited, often more than once. With strong imagery and poignant self-awareness, she speaks not only to the pain of being caught in toxic self-judgment, but also to the courage it takes to keep climbing out of it. This is a story of compassion, resilience, and the quiet power of showing up for ourselves again and again.

It happened again. There I was looking in the mirror judging myself and ashamed of the fact that I was body shaming myself and spinning down into old patterns.  

“I think I have gained weight.”
“I am only really truly loveable if I am skinny.”
“I am to blame for not being fitter, stronger, healthier, more gorgeous.”
“I should be beyond all of this body shite. I am a modern woman.”
“It’s my fault I am caught up in this bullshit.”
“What kind of feminist yoga teacher am I?”

Damn it, how can I be back here again? Full of insecurity, shame, frustration, and anger. Why can’t I always look in the mirror and simply love myself as I am? Contemplating this, an image came to mind.

I was swimming in a river of sewage. The rank smell of it was overwhelming as was the sensation of fecal matter rubbing against my skin. I was overwhelmed. I felt raw, exposed, and disgustingly filthy. I was drowning in excrement.

Then a higher part of myself, my true essence, that which is always there inside of me unharmed and unharmable, reached out and grabbed me from the river. She showered me off and gave me one of those firefighter emergency blankets. She sat with her arm around me beside the river. But the smell was still too much. 

We went up to higher ground. The sewage river was surrounded by lush green rolling hills. She took me up to the top of a slope. After I rested and caught my breath, I looked down. I saw thousands, millions of other women swimming and drowning in the brown river. I saw how it goes through time. The sewage river travels back many generations.

I also saw that other women were pulling themselves out of the river. Showering off and covering themselves in warm comforting blankets. I saw that on the hillsides all around the river, were women sitting. Women resting. Women out of the waste.

The sight was astonishing. It was both painful and beautiful. There was the agonising heartache of those drowning. My body viscerally knowing so well what it feels like. There was also the hope and joy of those out of the river. My heart expanding outwards. It is possible to get out. We can clean off the shit. We can find higher ground. It is attainable for each of us. 

As I sat there, awestruck by what I was witnessing, a further detail came into focus. Right beside me was a mudslide leading back to the shit river. I had already slid down there many times. Over and over, I have crawled out of the river, cleaned off and come up to this hilltop only to eventually slide back in. 

This detail isn’t disheartening. Rather it gives me courage. Yes, the river is long. The river is ancient. The river is constantly being reflected and promoted by society all around me. How can I not end up back in it? I was born into it. So was my sister. My mother, her mother and grandmother and beyond were all born into it. It is continually flowing with our inherited pain.

And yet, we can get out. 

I have rescued myself hundreds of times already. So next time I fall into the putrid, rancid waters, I know I can escape. There is no shame in ending once again back in it, because the river is bigger than me. It is older than me.

As I see the cycle of in the river, out of the river, to the hill top, and back into the river, the humour of our human predicament jumps out. Oh, man, it’s hard to be human. It’s a messy stinky complicated affair. The collective experience of being human is also highlighted. We are in this together. Showing each other the way and getting stuck together. 

So next time I find myself looking in the mirror spiralling down the mudslide into the sewage, I will try to smile and think, “Here I go again! I got this.”  I won’t be quite so disheartened by it.  This is what it means to be a woman. This is what it means to be human. 

I probably won’t be able to always fully love myself just as I am, but I will be gentler with what I see. I won’t take myself quite so seriously. Humour, self compassion and patience will all be looking in the mirror with me.

I write this from a woman’s perspective around body issues knowing that topic goes beyond gender.  I also know that there are more than Body Image Sewage Rivers. There are countless different types of garbage rivers.  We swim/drown in multiple ones. The good news is that we can get out of them. We are not destined to sink into the muck. Nor is it possible to avoid it. As I said, being human is messy. We have the resilience and the capacity to meet the chaos of life. Each in our own way. Every time one of us makes it to the edge of whatever rubbish river we find ourselves in and pull ourselves out, we offer hope to others. 

As we sit at the top of the lush hillsides, seeing the suffering of others in the sewage river below, let us hold them in our hearts. We know what it is like to be tangled up in the excreta of life. We send them our compassion and where possible we reach out our hand and pull someone else out of the suffering. 

Posted in Blog, Body, Mind, SoulTagged awareness, emotions, innerpeace, mindfulness

6 Tips to Improve your Meditation Practice

Posted on by Silvia Eriksson

The fastest way to improve your meditation practice is to see everything you do during the day as an opportunity to cultivate pristine awareness. Show up for life with eyes wide open! Show up for the small stuff especially. That’s where you want to fall asleep. It’s easy for the mind to wander when you feel bored by a small task.  

Meditation in action also known as mindfulness, is an opportunity to practice continuum awareness. To stay connected to the present moment, you want to turn every activity of the day into an opportunity to deepen your practice.

Meditation is not just about sitting on a cushion with your eyes closed. It’s about being alert, awake and open to the moment you are living in. When you meditate on the task at hand, you are creating a conscious relationship with your experience as it arises.

These are the six areas we advise would be beneficial to train yourself not to let your mind wander off. 

1)    Dishes – Pay attention to how you scrub the food particles and the order of which dishes you wash first and how you stack the dishwasher. Are you slouching? Are your feet squarely grounded on the floor? Are your body and spine straight? Notice if you are resisting the task. 

2)    Taking a shower – Activate your sense of touch and feel the temperature of the water. How do you touch and wash your own body. Slow down and be present to the foam, the bubbles and how you scrub yourself. Are you rushing to get to the next moment? 

3)    Folding laundry – Practice precision awareness. Make elegant folds and breath into the experience. Learn to master space in your closets and feel how different textures require different handling. 

4)    Driving a car – Practice multi-directional awareness. Be aware of the space in front, behind, left, and right – Pay attention to your breath as you inhale and exhale. When your mind wanders, gently redirect your attention back to the breath and the road. At every stop sign and light, take a conscious breath. Are you rushing to get somewhere?

5)    Sweeping – Find your flow. Connect the body to breath. We call this the dancing meditation. You aren’t sweeping. You are dancing with life and with every swish of the broom, the past is being released. 

6)    In Conversation (advanced practice) – While talking or listening, focus on their eyes primarily but look at their lips once and awhile. Be aware of your heart when you speak and your inner ear lobe when you are listening. Pay attention to how ideas, opinions and words cause emotional reactivity and stay cool. Keep returning to insight questions: Do I have all the facts? Is this true? What is this person really wanting to share with me?

by Evangelos Diavolitsis and Nishta Matarese

Evangelos and Nishta are international Dharma, meditation and movement teachers and the founders of Four Ways to Freedom.

Beautiful – is being taken care of by the ones you love

Posted on by Silvia Eriksson

Recently, we have had a massive earthquake in Turkey. Due to human greed and negligence, the aftermath of the natural disaster was devastation. A few days after the tragedy, I went to teach at a Mandali Experience and a very dear friend of mine went to the devastation zone to help. After we both returned, we shared experiences. 

What he told me about being a disaster victim, shook me to my core. Because he himself had been a victim of the ’99 earthquake, he was able to see in others what he himself had experienced so many years ago. This is how he described the human condition in a disaster zone:

“One night you go to bed and you have everything. Even if you are not wealthy, you still have a roof over your head, you have your family, you have your belongings and most importantly, you have your life. The next day, you have almost nothing. You are in need of even that one glass of water that someone is going to give you. You see, the ego is slow. It does not catch up with reality so fast. It is so difficult to accept that within a matter of seconds, you have gone from having everything to needing everything. And it is very challenging to come to terms with accepting help from others.”  

Meanwhile, I was teaching yoga during a Mandali Experience and before one of our practices, I asked my fellow yogis, “What is beautiful?”. I was trying to draw our awareness to a completely different perspective and for the question I could have picked any adjective or noun, any word basically but coincidentally I chose beautiful. One of the participants came up with a definition that resonated deeply with all of us: “Beautiful is being taken care of by the ones you love”. 

From what I observe, for most of us, giving comes more naturally than receiving. We define our roles as mothers, fathers, partners, siblings, daughters, sons, friends, employers, employees mostly in terms of what we give. But when it comes to receiving, we are mostly amateurs. I know I am. I am so used to being strong and capable and self-sufficient that when I am not so, I find it difficult to ask for support from my fellow humans. So as I am writing these lines, I am not preaching. I am sharing a vulnerability that I am currently and constantly working on. Listening to the heartfelt sharings of Mandali Experience participants and to the stories of earthquake victims, I know I am not alone. 

We all have a lot to learn on the beauty of being taken care of. And maybe, we can fine tune ourselves to learn to see and experience this beauty without needing dramatic life circumstances like natural disasters or illnesses.

Can we learn to ask for and receive support from others in the more ordinary moments of life when all we need is a simple hug, or someone’s undivided and non-judgemental attention for a few minutes, or just the comfort of sitting with someone without a need for words?

Can we learn to ask for and receive support from others before unmet simple needs amalgamate to bitter scorn?

What I have come to observe on the art of receiving is that where we come from is what makes all the difference. The ego is capricious and unbendable. When in need it becomes bitter and scornful. It expects but cannot communicate. When disappointed, it screams and scolds. When receiving it is uncomfortable and critical. The heart on the other hand is generous and malleable. When in need it is communicative, receptive and rewarding. There is not a human being who will not be touched and transformed by responding and giving to another human asking and receiving from the heart. It is a mutually enriching experience.

We are all living in an ego driven and ego rewarding global society. Within such a challenging social environment, the art of being human lies in mastering to keep an open heart. A heart that is not only generous in giving but also gentle yet courageous in asking and receiving. 

Five Steps to the Present Moment

Posted on by Kasia

You’ve probably heard that in order to arrive at a state of inner peace and deep relaxation, first, you have to connect fully to the present moment, the ‘here and now’. That’s why I like to call meditation the Practice of Presence. There are various techniques to connect to the present moment and to exercise your ‘silent muscles’. If you’ve experienced meditation with me, you will know that I don’t follow any specific concept or religion… Yet the basic steps to meditation are similar to most of the approaches I’ve explored. Let me introduce these steps to you with a little guidance. I trust this will support you in your practice!

Loving Kindness towards yourself: 

So often we are tied to complaints from our inner critic, who push us to do more, to be better or more efficient… Nothing wrong with self-development and growth, but we have to remember that in order to evolve, we need the fuel, the positive energy, which arises from self-love and appreciation. Adopt an attitude of gentle loving-kindness towards yourself. Breath it into your heart and let it be the main signpost in all stages of your meditation (actually, in your daily life too!). 

‘I am aware that every moment of my life, I am doing the very best I can. I am enough – exactly as I am.’

Acceptance:  

Acceptance in meditation means to be connected to whatsoever is going on in this moment – within as well as around you. Your thoughts, feelings, the situation, even the possible restlessness or rushing thoughts often arise at the start of your meditation practice. 

I am not implying that you should become a doormat for people, events, or circumstances in your daily life. Having healthy boundaries is essential for our life in this world.

For your meditation, however, I simply invite you to accept ‘what is’ authentic in you and to embrace it completely. The following steps will help you to expand this state. 

‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.’ 

R. Niebuhr

Relaxation: 

Your mind, body, emotions, and spirit are interconnected. When you get tense or stressed, it makes it hard to think clearly and it is difficult to connect to a meditative space. When you start relaxing your body, the mind and emotions will naturally follow. You can become more grounded by focusing on the rhythm of your breathing so it becomes regular. Additionally, you can do a body scan and gently invite each part of your body to relax and soften. You may notice that as your body relaxes, your mind becomes less frantic, less harsh, softer. Thoughts may still be there but now you may notice there is a certain distance created. 

“As the body relaxes, the mind clears, the heart opens and there is a merging of body and soul, like a wave collapsing into the ocean.”

Non-Judgment:  

In the context of meditation practice, I perceive non-judgment as ‘letting go of any labeling or signposting’. Again, it touches all parts of our Being. ‘I should not think when I meditate’… ‘I should not feel restless.’ … or dividing emotions as ‘good or bad’… these are just some examples of judging which you may encounter within your practice. In meditation, you can let all these labels go. What matters is to observe what is going on within and around you in its full authenticity – without actively engaging, resisting, or fiddling with it. 

“With non-judgment, there is no division. When each part of you is lovingly embraced, integrity, wholeness, and transformation arise.”

Awareness: 

This quality is sometimes referred to as the ‘observer’ or ‘watcher’. It is the part of you that is simply AWARE. Metaphorically, you can imagine this space like the center of a hurricane – the calm, still, silent part of you which is calmly observing the context of your experience, here and now – your emotions, thoughts, body sensations, or the situation around you. By resting in your observer, you are connecting to your very core – the nourishing source of your inner peace, harmony, and creativity. The unique beauty of your Essence.

‘Above the clouds of the mind, there is a clear blue sky. I will meet you there.’

Self Love, Acceptance, Relaxation, Non-Judgment, and Awareness. These are proven practical steps to help you to sink into the nourishing space within you. They are interconnected, so even if here they are described as ‘steps’, it does not necessarily mean you have to practice them in this order. One element flows into the other, like the waves of the ocean that merge into and complement one another. Their common purpose is to bring you to your ‘inner home’. A warm space filled with a deep peace and satisfaction that comes from simply being present. 

From here, you can respond to life in a relaxed, healthy, and resourceful way.

With love,

Peter

Peter Harper is an experienced spiritual guide with more than 30 years of experience in meditation guidance and self-discovery retreats. Peter is the founder of The Drunken Monk Conscious Living project connecting spirituality with daily life.