The Felt Sense of Generosity

What does generosity feel like?

Generosity is the quality of being kind and sharing that kindness freely with others without expecting something in return. It’s the natural way our heart interacts in the world when it feels safe, secure, and bountiful. Generosity goes beyond material possessions and can include giving time, attention, compassion, skills, or support. It reflects a spirit of abundance and can be felt in our tissues.

Let’s start with the spirit of abundance. With the generosity of life itself.

What has life given you? 

Your body and its dazzling complex interconnected systems that keep you alive: circulatory, respiratory, nervous, muscular system, digestive system, and immune system, just to name a few. 

Life gives us air to breath, the earth to walk on, and water to drink.  We are given beauty in abundance: sunsets, bird song, waterfalls, the scent of morning coffee….

Pause and reflect: What else has life given you? And how does it feel in your body to be the recipient of this generosity?

What have others given you?

In our world of interdependence, so much of what use each day has been created or produced by someone else’s effort.  Even if they have received compensation for their work, their work is of enormous benefit to us. There is generosity in it. The food we eat, the clothes we wear, the streets we walk on, … on and on I can go. As Martin Luther King Jr said, “before you finish eating breakfast in the morning, you’ve depended on more than half the world.”

There is so much generosity and abundance all around us. Taking time to reflect on this softens our heart. It relaxes us and open us up. Our felt sense of separateness begins to dissolve. 

Now I invite you to contemplate: What is easy for you to give?

What do you have plenty of? Is it money, time, smiles, hugs, expertise, kind words, encouragement, compassion, joy, courage, attention, …

How does it feel to recognise your plenitude and ability to share it?

Like with realizing the generosity around us, there is benefit in recognising our own generosity. To feel how easy and good it is to share when there is plenty to share.  To have a felt sense of that surplus, that more than enough-ness. It feels good.  More than that.  Engaging in acts of generosity has been scientifically linked to increased happiness, reduced stress, improved mental and physical health, and enhanced social connections. 

I ask what is easy for you to give because I want you to feel into the relaxation in the body when there is a sense of abundance. 

Now I invite you to contemplate how far out you feel you can share this excess, this abundance without tightening?

Who is in your circle of inclusion? Just you? A child or parent? A partner or friend? A stranger? An enemy? I invite you to honestly feel where the line is between freely giving, without any effort or contraction, and where a grasping sets in. 

I think it is important to notice the ease and lightness of natural generosity, a sense that you’re not even giving it, it is just flowing.  Like the love I have for my kids isn’t “my love” to give to them. It is just love flowing. It isn’t mine. It isn’t finite. It doesn’t have to be mined.  It is simply there. It is in the air we breathe. 

And this love how far out can I let it freely flow from me. To my kids, yes.  But I can extend it out even further? How far? My friends? My neighbours? The homeless person on the corner? Someone who has harmed me? 

What we give and to whom we give it to changes how it feels to give.  I encourage you to feel into when generosity flows freely. To have a visceral knowing of that big-heartedness.  To let it inspire you and others.  And also to feel into when the act of giving feels constricted. Not abandoning yourself in acts of giving but instead including all parts of you and all the ways they are feeling about the giving. To hold the contraction generously from your authentic nature.  To slowly build your capacity to offer more freely to more people, thereby strengthening your character of generosity. 

What about when there isn’t enough? How does this feel?

What do we do when abundance isn’t there? When we feel needy or lacking? 

Our hearts and bodies contract.  

Of course they do. 

Contraction is the natural way of a body and heart under duress. Our survival instincts run deep. We want to survive. We want more than that; we want to thrive.  We want to be happy and feel free. Generosity is one of many gateways into that happiness, that freeness.  It is possible to cultivate and relax more and more into our generous nature. But first we need to recognise where there is lack in our life.  Without any judgement, rather with clear seeing. It is important to recognise where you feel insecure, unable to give, to share. 

Take a moment and contemplate: What don’t you have enough of? 

Is it money, time, friends, joy, courage, presence, …  Where do you notice deficiency in your life? How does that feel? Do you sense a contraction, a tightening, fear and/or resistance? Do you feel a closing off or grasping for more?  This is uncomfortable and yet totally normal. I encourage you to stay with this inquiry. Get to know how it is in your body and heart when you feel limited.  All of us feel this way. We may not all be lacking the same things or qualities but each and everyone of us knows the tension of not having enough. 

I invite you to be kind towards that contraction, towards all that has come up. We can learn to be generous towards ourselves and our feeling of not enough-ness. Hold the tension kindly from your inner spaciousness. This isn’t about solving the problem of what is lacking but rather a willingness to be with this discomfort of scarcity.

Not having enough or feeling like you don’t have enough can be scary. It is related to, or literally, a question of being able to exist, to survive. So go slowly, move gently. Hold what you can hold. Feel what you can feel. Little by little. Breath by breath, we can learn to connect to ourselves no matter how cut off and tight we may feel. And when it is too much, get support.  Support is out there for all of us, for some it easier to find than for others. But support is there, seek it out. 

Who inspires you with their generosity?

The last point I want to explore is the value of being inspired by acts of generosity from others. Just like we can be inspired by a great athlete, musician, or artist. Not comparing yourself to them, thinking “I should be as good as them.” Instead recognising you were born the way you are with the conditioning and circumstances around you.  Not all of us were born with the bone structure to become an olympic swimmer, or the means to make that happen.  But to see the effort that that person put into to excelling at what they do is inspiring. A call for us to excel with what we are given. 

So who inspires you with their generosity? 

Who reminds you of your abundance and ability to share that which you have plenty of?  Think of them often. Let their acts of kindness and giving remind you of what you have to offer freely.

So feel into generosity. Get to know it in your bones. 

Feel when your heart is open and giving freely. Let it inspire a wider circle of sharing. Also feel when the heart is closed, unable to give freely. Embrace the feeling of lack with compassion instead of shaming it; cultivate self-compassion. And continually let yourself be inspired by the generosity of life itself, by others and their acts of benevolence. Let them, let life, remind you of your inherent abundance and your capacity to share it with the world.

Posted in BlogTagged dharma, generosity, mindfulness

When Did I Become So Boring? Finding the Spontaneous You

Have you recently wondered, “When did I start being so boring?” It’s a question that creeps into our minds from time to time, and it’s worth exploring. What’s your secret daydream? That one thing you’ve always wanted to do, but you’ve kept safely tucked away, hidden from the world. Perhaps it’s dancing in public just for the joy of it, skydiving, or starting a new hobby. What’s holding you back from experiencing the joy, spontaneity, and curiosity that you know you have, but seems just out of reach, a little dormant?

As children, we naturally pushed boundaries, tested limits, and did things simply for the joy of it.  Yet, somewhere along the way, we may feel we lost touch with that side of ourselves. There can be many reasons for that, disappointments, fear of rejection or being made fun of, being scolded or told off. Life happens and piles on, we get told what ‘adult responsibilities’ are, what we need to achieve, and bury our free, innate ‘soul-child’ on the way. 

Can we have both, some kind of balance between spontaneous and free, and structured and ‘adult’, and use it to our advantage? Wouldn’t life be so much more rich? 

‘Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.’ ~ E.E. Cummings

The practice of self-inquiry is the action of looking inward and asking ourselves fundamental questions that reveal our inner essence, and aspects about ourselves that are hidden. It is commonly done as a process with others, or guided, but you can also do it by yourself in contemplation or by journaling, which can lead to insight and greater self-knowledge. 

For example:

  • Contemplate something you really want to try but never give yourself the freedom to do.
  • Notice what comes emotionally when you think about it, fear, embarrassment, a feeling of imminent failure, dismissal, it’s not worth it, ‘nice idea but not relevant’, ‘I’m too old for this’… and so on
  • What does this ‘want’ really symbolize, and where does it really come from?  What does it represent? 
  • Can I sit with these emotions, feel them in my body, and breathe with them? Ask yourself, What would be the worst outcome if I did try this? Maybe you realise, despite your story: ‘This too, I can get through.’
  • How can I integrate this in my life, what would be fun to try this week, this month and what will I get out of it?

This practice may give rise to understanding something about yourself, and give you hope and incentive to move on from it. The key is integrating your desires into your life in all areas by taking action, like re-training yourself towards joy and spontaneity. Start small, and little by little bring these long-lost dreams into your daily life. This week, this month, take a step toward something you’ve always wanted to do that makes you happy. Or say yes to a crazy idea that is outside of your routine. Do something unusual. Expand your appetite for life and let it inspire you!

Becoming friendly with our inner wildness can be an important and life-changing path. It’s about rediscovering the innocent, free, wild, and open part of us that once made us feel truly alive. It’s not about acting “childish” or being overly “adult”; it’s about finding a balance and connecting to the essence of our soul-child. It’s time to release it, give it the freedom it needs, and use its energy to your advantage.

So, the next time you ask yourself, “When did I start being so boring?” remember that it’s never too late to reconnect with your inner wildness and live life to the fullest.

Emilio Mercuriali is a visionary leader in the field of self-discovery and personal growth. Specializing in the Essence work and the Enneagram, Emilio’s retreats offer a unique blend of ancient spiritual wisdom and modern psychology. He will be leading the Joy of Living Retreat in Mandali this coming December.

Posted in Mind, SoulTagged emotions, habits, mindfulness

The Dance of Movement & Stillness

Today, we celebrate MOVEMENT! There is something magical that happens when we consciously move, whether it’s in a yoga class, walking, hiking, dancing or whichever way you love to shake and wiggle your being. Movement of all forms plays such a big part of our spiritual and wellbeing practices, and also in what we offer at Mandali. In this article, we asked some of our teachers and guides: “In your discipline, what is the connection between movement and meditation?”, and we got some insightful and interesting answers.

Silvia Eriksson – Yoga Teacher

I think movement can be seen in yoga in several ways: First, as a way of purifying and strengthening the body (Tapas), moving our energies, becoming aware of and training our breath, in order to prepare ourselves for meditation – sitting still and resting in awareness. When I don’t move, meditation becomes an effort, and is not only hard on my body, but the excess stagnant energy can lead to restlessness or being caught of in stories of the mind. On the other hand, when I don’t allow stillness, my energy remains a bit scattered. So it’s all about balance.

Movement is also healing on so many levels. Dancing helped me overcome social anxiety and brings me immense joy, Pilates and yoga asana helped me heal injuries, trauma and corrected my posture, a bonus being a strong back, and supple hips, help me sit upright comfortably for meditation. It was movement that changed my life ultimately and led me to a spiritual path.

Alas, meditation and movement practice ripples out into action and creativity.  A great way to bring meditation to everyday life is through being aware and present of movement. So now, movement becomes meditation itself. Moving consciously is about becoming intimate and friendly with yourself. Being open, undistracted, tuning into the body as we move and riding the wave of the breath, emotions, clearing out internal barriers is like a dance, cultivating presence and closeness with our physical body. We close gaps of separation. Feeling in, listening, without judgment – some might call this self love, authenticity.  As I often tell my students, what we learn on the mat practicing Asanas, we take into our lives. Like the balance between ease and effort, when to push, when to let go.

Moving consciously is about becoming intimate and friendly with yourself. Being open, undistracted, tuning into the body as we move and riding the wave of the breath, emotions, clearing out internal barriers is like a dance, cultivating presence and closeness with our physical body. We close gaps of separation.

Nishta & Evangelos (Four Ways to Freedom)  – Conscious Movement & Meditation

In ancient times, seekers who wished to understand the meaning of life would lay down at night and watch the movement of stars and planets. During the day they would observe the movement of the clouds and the sun as well as the changing natural landscape through the seasons. When you look up at the sky, you feel a sense of stillness and eternity. It’s quiet, unborn, and full of potential but not static. Sometimes a storm comes to disrupt the quiet sky.  It’s a natural fluid tango. In tango you pause and then move. 

You can’t have movement without meditation just like you can’t have stillness without action or chaos. They are codependent lovers.  Healthy movement emerges from stillness and if it isn’t born from the still womb of tranquility, it manifests as frantic unstable energy.  Too much stillness can make you dull while too much non-stop movement can exhaust you. Finding the balance of how they work together can revolutionize your life.  

Meditation is the art of sitting with nothing but the quiet mind and watching the movement of life. When we sit and get really still, we see that movement is simply a declaration of change, creativity and evolution. 

If we wish to be a master of our own lives, we must master the art of meditation as well as the art of moving gracefully and mindfully through life.  They go hand in hand.

If we wish to be a master of our own lives, we must master the art of meditation as well as the art of moving gracefully and mindfully through life.  They go hand in hand. The deeper your movement practice, the greater the stillness of mind. The deeper you can go into silence and meditate, the more you can confidently move with life’s unpredictable events. You are here to explore polarities. Some call it the cosmic dance of life and whether you know it or not, it is moving through you right now but you might miss it if you can’t be still for one tiny moment!

Prafulla Giuseppe Carnaghi – Nature walk guide 

To me ‘spiritual practice’ means bringing meditation into the small “movements” in my daily life.

Meditation cannot be confined to the time I sit cross-legged with eyes closed.

It’s the moment I get up and start moving in the flow of everyday life that my meditation is challenged. It’s reminding myself to be present in small movements like washing my hands or peeling an apple.

When I walk in nature, listening to its sounds and to its silence, I find a deeper sense of stillness, and this becomes my spiritual practice, a precious doorway to inner silence, a space beyond thinking. This way I’m the ‘space’ in which all movements (my body, my thoughts, my emotions) happen.

When I walk in nature, listening to its sounds and to its silence, I find a deeper sense of stillness, and this becomes my spiritual practice, a precious doorway to inner silence, a space beyond thinking

Gijs Fermie –  Kum Nye (Tibetan Yoga)

Movement can serve as a preliminary to meditation, a state of present pure awareness. In Kum Nye practice (Tibetan Yoga) we integrate movement, massage and meditation into one holistic discipline. Here we first practice movement exercises in order to stimulate energy within the body. Now the feeling-experience in the body, linked with the energy of the breath, will massage our being from the inside out. This inner massage in turn will allow us to relax more and release tensions.

Kum Nye practice brings us to a calm, clear and creative state of being, which is the heart of meditation.

And at the same time it will create more space to embody this free flow of energy,  expanding our presence in space. In the end this process will open-up within us a warm and deep, sacred space of infinite awareness. Kum Nye practice brings us to a calm, clear and creative state of being, which is the heart of meditation. Movement can serve as well as a form of integration; meditation in action. For this to come about we would need to bring movement, stillness and awareness together. And in this way, by practicing body-awareness that leads into space-awareness, movement becomes meditation.

How do you feel movement intersects with your discipline? What’s your favorite way to move? Drop us a note in the comments, we’d love to hear!

6 Tips to Improve your Meditation Practice

The fastest way to improve your meditation practice is to see everything you do during the day as an opportunity to cultivate pristine awareness. Show up for life with eyes wide open! Show up for the small stuff especially. That’s where you want to fall asleep. It’s easy for the mind to wander when you feel bored by a small task.  

Meditation in action also known as mindfulness, is an opportunity to practice continuum awareness. To stay connected to the present moment, you want to turn every activity of the day into an opportunity to deepen your practice.

Meditation is not just about sitting on a cushion with your eyes closed. It’s about being alert, awake and open to the moment you are living in. When you meditate on the task at hand, you are creating a conscious relationship with your experience as it arises.

These are the six areas we advise would be beneficial to train yourself not to let your mind wander off. 

1)    Dishes – Pay attention to how you scrub the food particles and the order of which dishes you wash first and how you stack the dishwasher. Are you slouching? Are your feet squarely grounded on the floor? Are your body and spine straight? Notice if you are resisting the task. 

2)    Taking a shower – Activate your sense of touch and feel the temperature of the water. How do you touch and wash your own body. Slow down and be present to the foam, the bubbles and how you scrub yourself. Are you rushing to get to the next moment? 

3)    Folding laundry – Practice precision awareness. Make elegant folds and breath into the experience. Learn to master space in your closets and feel how different textures require different handling. 

4)    Driving a car – Practice multi-directional awareness. Be aware of the space in front, behind, left, and right – Pay attention to your breath as you inhale and exhale. When your mind wanders, gently redirect your attention back to the breath and the road. At every stop sign and light, take a conscious breath. Are you rushing to get somewhere?

5)    Sweeping – Find your flow. Connect the body to breath. We call this the dancing meditation. You aren’t sweeping. You are dancing with life and with every swish of the broom, the past is being released. 

6)    In Conversation (advanced practice) – While talking or listening, focus on their eyes primarily but look at their lips once and awhile. Be aware of your heart when you speak and your inner ear lobe when you are listening. Pay attention to how ideas, opinions and words cause emotional reactivity and stay cool. Keep returning to insight questions: Do I have all the facts? Is this true? What is this person really wanting to share with me?

by Evangelos Diavolitsis and Nishta Matarese

Evangelos and Nishta are international Dharma, meditation and movement teachers and the founders of Four Ways to Freedom.

The Art of Journaling

We are living in some unprecedented times. Many people are struggling and words like pressure, rush, mental health, suicide, social media, addiction, drugs – these are almost the new normal.  As a result, more and more people have trouble with finding themselves in a good place emotionally and mentally.

What is that feeling that something is not right?

It is easy to lose the connection with ourselves and our feelings, in a world where we are over-stimulated 24-7 by work, social media, expectations, etc. We are not aware of our thoughts and our behaviours, se we lose touch with our inner world. We live our lives the best we can, we go go go. Many people have trouble saying no and with standing up for themselves. In these hectic times we have so many options and choices, it’s hard to know where to go. We continue to run and we don’t stop.

So what can we do?

Press the “pause bottom”, as Prema from Mandali always says. We are looking for happiness and peace and balance but we don’t know how to get there. Because we have not learned how to deal with emotions and feelings and we are not self-aware, of our behaviors as well as our thoughts.

This is where journaling comes in. Taking time out to sit down and think and write down your thoughts is extremely healing, and also empowering. That moment to pause. Writing is literally letting go. Letting go of our thoughts is like an instant relief.  Like a tire that loses its pressure. We feel safe when we write, and a bonus is that we are in the present moment while doing it 🙂To be in your own mind in your own time is just an incredible feeling. It gives ourselves the attention that we so much need, we put ourselves first. It is an act of self-love, real Me-Time.

There are many ways of journaling

  • Intuitive writing (writing what-ever comes to mind), a story that needs to be told 
  • a life plan, wishes and dreams
  •  writing about your behavior and feelings,
  • writing about day-to-day life, your daily thoughts.
  • writing when you are sad or angry

All of these forms are good. They allow us to release what is burning inside of us, and by letting it go, we start to look at our thoughts and patterns in a different, more lighter and neutral way.  

While writing, we begin to see things more clearly and honestly, and “open for change”. We can change perspective on the way we see our own lives and the world – which has often been distorted. We start really being our own best friend, and take control of our lives. Like in an aeroplane, we need to take the oxygen mask first before we can help other people. Once we are there you will understand that your thoughts are not true, often on repeat,  we can change them into new and better ones. So we can start to live our lives authentically – YOUR dream life that you always dreamt of.

After a difficult time in my life, going through a depression, and finding my way slowly again in new and better circumstances, I was looking for a way to share what I learned to help others. I especially wanted to help young people living in these times, where it’s so easy to get overwhelmed and lose touch with themselves, by giving them tools which will help make their life easier through self reflection. That’s why I came up with a simple and fun 4 step method that I have combined with a journal, called MY JOURNAL. It guides people to reflect, write and find themselves so they can create their own manual and start doing what is right for them so they become balanced, whole and happy. Because we all want to feel peaceful and in the present moment, because that is where the magic happens. The reactions up till now have been really impressive. 

I wrote this book with the purpose to heal the world a bit. Since I believe, as all the teachers at Mandali do too, that if we like and love ourselves (self love) we will automatically be kind to others. So let’s all do that, in our own way, let’s spread some love.

”Let’s allow journaling to be our meditation. Nothing more, nothing less.” – Beth Kempton

About Maggie Maris

Maggie is a friend of Mandali and shares our vision being a point of light in the world, helping others through her work. She is the author of MY JOURNAL and MY WAY, beautiful journaling tools to help to self-reflect and grow in your journey of self discovery. Her books are published in Dutch and soon in English, for more information please go here: www.maggiesway.n IG: @maggies.way

5 tips to start 2022 off on the right foot

1. ​Spend as much time in nature as possible and oxygenate the brain and body.

This might seem obvious but in this world of urban living and busyness, we spend too much time in our isolated, unventilated homes. Commit to going on daily short walks and going into a natural park for longer periods at least once a week. Time spent walking in a heavily forested environment changes our whole outlook on the day. Many of us go for prolonged periods of time without immersing ourselves in the freshness of nature. Since we are spending many hours a week wearing a mask, we want to give ourselves the gift of clean air. At Mandali, we have the advantage of pristine nature and unpolluted air all around us.

2.Avoid conversations and people who get into heated polarized, political, social, or cultural views.

Life is short and as the ancient Greeks used to say, “take the time to understand other(s) and when others are more interested in the position of being “right” rather than the all-encompassing view of understanding that we have different ways of seeing the world than walk away”. The chaos of today is forcing people to choose sides and sometimes we have to choose a side. Whatever side you choose, you want to cultivate respect, understanding, and empathy for the other view.  If you feel yourself arguing and getting angry that others have a difference of opinion, remove yourself from the environment, breathe and remember that every view has merit (even if it is only 1% true).  Do not compromise your state of equanimity for anyone or anything. The wise person listens with friendliness and decides whether to engage or disengage without causing harm or hatred.  

​3. ​Honestly review your day – Practice Self-Inquiry.

Ask yourself at the end of each day: Where did I compromise my highest values? Where was I self-aware and kind and where did I lose the plot today? By doing this regularly, you will spend more and more time living the kind of day that brings joy and fulfillment. Ask yourself: what did I do well today? Where was my discipline tested? Where did I not do so well today? How can I improve tomorrow? Just don’t beat yourself up. Remember to forgive yourself daily.  Practice self-compassion. Research shows that forgiving yourself, not beating yourself up, prevents you from continuing to put things off. Don’t just be critical of yourself. Think about what you did well so you can repeat it tomorrow. Be grateful for the good that happened today!  

4. ​Take multiple short 5-minute mindfulness breaks throughout the day.

This will reset your nervous system. Practice your favourite breathing meditation. Breathe in consciously and imagine that with every exhale, you are removing the mask of tension. Use your hands in a gesture of gathering air and imagine you are inhaling pure, clean air, and with every exhale, you could even put your hand on your face imagining you are removing stuck masks: the mask of disappointment, the mask of tiredness, the mask of the fear of uncertainty.  This exercise produces unfathomable results.  By consciously breathing and imagining that we are unmasking ourselves of our struggles and pain, the joy of our original face is revealed.  

5. ​Move your body vigorously at least once a day.  

Dance to your favourite song. Moving to one short song instantly changes your chemistry. If you are not sure what song to play, we have attached a fun short song here.  Moving your body in creative and emotionally expressive ways reduces stress and depression, increases energy and serotonin, increases mental capacity and creativity, and increases so much joy that we are better equipped to handle the ups and downs of home and work life.

Here’s a little feel good moment:


Jon Bastiste- FREEDOM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YHVC1DcHmo