Tag: practice

Interview: Opening to Intimacy ~ with Talib Tyler Fischer and Shubaa Kassima Fischer

Posted on by Silvia Eriksson

This retreat grew out of Talib and Shubaa’s shared work with couples, and their own lived experience of partnership and parenthood. Over many years, they noticed how intimacy often becomes strained not through lack of love, but through the pressures of commitment, family life, and unspoken emotional layers. This retreat brings their understanding into a practical, embodied space where couples can slow down, reconnect, and tend to the relationship they are living together.

1. What is the original intention at the heart of this couples retreat?

We have been working with couples for over 20 years. After having a child together nine years ago, we began to deeply understand the core challenges couples face in their intimacy, especially after having children, but also when couples make a full commitment to sharing life together.

We saw how themes such as losing freedom, fear of abandonment, and not feeling seen or understood slowly enter the relationship. Intimacy often fades over time, not because love disappears, but because couples lack the tools and resources to stay connected while navigating the demands of parenting, work, and life.

What became clear to us was that many separations trace back to the period around the birth of the first child. Couples often carry unspoken emotional layers; grief, loneliness, rejection, and hurt, but are afraid to acknowledge them. There is a fear that naming these feelings means not appreciating or loving their children. So love gets focused entirely on the children, while the deeper emotional pain between partners remains unexpressed.

Over time, this unspoken pain builds in the relational space, reducing emotional closeness and sexual desire.

Our own personal experience as a couple opened our eyes to these root causes, and from that understanding this work was born. To support couples in restoring connection, meaning, and intimacy, and in rediscovering why they chose to walk life together in the first place.

2. What needs in relationships today do you feel this retreat is uniquely suited to address?

The need to feel connected. Connection is the foundation of safety, trust and intimacy.

True connection requires the freedom to express what we genuinely feel and experience inside ourselves. It also requires safety, the safety to open deeply and trust that the other will meet us there.

At the same time, intimacy needs freedom to survive over time: freedom to be ourselves, to have our own space, friendships, interests, money, desires, and even attractions. Both safety and freedom are essential.

Many couples stop speaking about these two needs once they enter long-term commitment. This creates the first separation, an internal one. 

Over time, that inner split festers and shows up in the intimacy space with serious consequences.

This retreat creates a space where couples can reconnect to both needs and learn how to honor them together.

3. Can you walk us through a day in the retreat?

We begin the day by waking up the body through an active meditation. Our work is rooted in the body, because this is where we truly connect with ourselves and with each other. Through this active meditation we slowly start to learn how to regulate our own central nervous system through the physical body. Mental connection is important, but the body is what brings people close on a deeper level, through vitality, sensitivity, and presence.

After this, there is a generous breakfast break of about 90 minutes for nourishment, rest & enjoyment.  

The morning session begins at 10:00 and runs until lunch around 13:00. With couples, we intentionally create long lunch breaks, sometimes with guided exploration, learning the language of silence together and sometimes simply to allow quality time together.

The afternoon session runs from 15:00 to 17:30 and includes a softer, active meditation to help integrate the day and slow the nervous system.

Dinner is a time for rest, enjoyment, and connection. Most evenings include an integrative session before closing the day around 21:30.

4. For someone unfamiliar with couple work, what might be surprising or unexpected about participating in this retreat together?

For many couples, this is the first time they have done something like this together. Some may have attended therapy, courses, or retreats individually, but coming as a couple activates dynamics that cannot be accessed alone.

Being together in this way can bring great aliveness, truth, fun & intimacy that really surprises people. It is deeply special to explore as a couple. 

Also, to hear other couples talk about their own explorations as well their lives into a very safe and confidential group setting is very special. Because normally people don’t open up about their lives as a couple, and have a tendency to think that they are the only ones to face those struggles and obstacles. And that is a magic that happens over and over again, that when one couple is doing their work, it talks to and touches all the other couples. 

Men can identify with other men, and the women can definitely see themselves in other women as well. Once one couple receives a healing, all the other couples that are holding their simple attention receives it too. 

This experience of meeting other couples makes one realize that you are not alone. There is often great relief in seeing that your story is their story too, that nothing is “wrong” with you as a couple.

5. What is one misconception people have about doing deep relational work together and how does this retreat shift that narrative?

A common belief is that the deepest work must be done alone.

Of course  any emotional intelligence work is absolutely individual, that is true, but some of the most profound transformation happens in a relationship. We can see ourselves the most clear and transparent way when we are relating with one another. Relationships show us where we are placing ourselves in our  immature, and mature state of consciousness.

When couples come together, supported by other couples and experienced mentors, the truth can emerge in a contained, resourced, and regulated environment. At home, or by themselves, couples often don’t have the support or clarity to navigate.

We need each other to transform. Being witnessed, supported, and inspired by other couples creates a powerful field for healing and growth.

6. After the retreat ends, what support or guidance do couples have to integrate their insights back into daily life?

We offer ongoing Couples Labs, which take place monthly. These labs provide continued support, connection, and practical resources for couples who are walking this path with us.

We encourage couples to relate to their relationship the way they would to physical health, like going for a long walk or to the gym, but for emotional and relational regulation. Intimacy needs training, care, and consistency.

Therefore no one needs to have a problem or have a crisis in their relationship in order to attend this course. 

We see this as an amazing investment towards your own intimate relationship.

7. For people who are nervous about “opening up” in a retreat setting, what would you say to them to ease that concern?

Of course we understand. Especially if it’s the first time. Opening up is delicate, especially when past experiences have not felt safe.

We work with deep respect for each person’s and each couple’s timing. There is no agenda for anyone to be a certain way, or any needs or expectations to share, talk or say anything openly. Because, at any time, you can also keep the explorations just between the couple. 

Having said that, there is no right or wrong way to attend this retreat, which creates a relaxed, safe and respectful space.

Then, something beautiful happens: when people begin to feel safe, relaxed, and at home, almost like among friends, the work opens by itself. It’s incredible to witness how human beings shift when safety is present, both within themselves and with their partners.

8. What’s one question you might ask a couple to help them decide if this retreat is the right next step for them?

What do you admire about your partner?

What quality did you first notice and fall in love with?

How often do you focus on that quality today?

Do you miss it?

Posted in Blog, Content, SoulTagged couples work, emotions, intention, intimacy, practice

Interview: Why a Men’s Mindfulness Retreat? ~ with Evangelos Diavolitsis

Posted on by Silvia Eriksson

With these reflective answers, Evangelos shares the inspiration behind Awakening the Masculine Heart: A Men’s Mindfulness Retreat — a powerful space for men to lay down their armor, reconnect with their hearts, and rediscover what true strength feels like. Drawing from ancient wisdom and modern awareness, he explores why men today need dedicated spaces to drop performance, reclaim presence, and live with greater freedom, integrity, and love.

1. What inspired you to create this retreat for men, and what is the deeper intention behind it?

Throughout history, men have gathered around fires, mountains, and battlefields to serve a shared purpose. Today, the real battle is within — between our minds and our hearts. This retreat invites men to lay down their inner armor and rediscover what true strength feels like: presence, integrity, and love.

We’re not here to become “better” men — we’re here to become freer men. Men who live with meaning, clarity, and courage. Using ancient wisdom with a modern lens, we’ll meditate, move, and unravel the conditioning that keeps us stuck.

A liberated man moves through the world undefended — grounded in truth, open to joy, creativity, and love. When men gather to do this work, something alchemical happens: we awaken a deep intelligence that makes us whole, resilient, and fully alive. This isn’t about chest-thumping. It’s about waking the sleeping giant within — the one who knows he’s here to be the change he longs to see in the world.

2. What themes or challenges do you see men facing today that this retreat aims to explore or transform?

Modern men are navigating an identity crisis — caught between outdated ideals of strength and a world demanding emotional intelligence and depth. We’ll explore and transform challenges such as:

  • Feeling numb or disconnected — unsure of what you truly feel (no feeling = no life force).
  • A scattered mind — learning to return to presence and heal the split between body and mind.
  • Loss of purpose — realigning with your heart’s true direction.
  • Scarcity patterns — in money, love, or meaning.
  • Balancing power and sensitivity — embodying strength without hardness.
  • Creating boundaries — that protect without isolating.
  • Learning to be alone — discovering peace and presence in stillness and nature.
  • Letting go of the victim identity — awakening your sovereignty in a changing world.

This work helps men reclaim their aliveness, clarity, and direction.

3. What kinds of sessions or practices will take place, and how do they support this intention?

The retreat is immersive and experiential — a dojo for the soul.

  • Silent Sitting Meditation – cultivates awake, clear awareness.
  • Conscious Movement & Mindful Boxing – conditions the body and reveals the mind under pressure.
  • Dharma Talks & Guided Inquiry – orient the mind toward truth and insight.
  • Men’s Circles & Hot Seat Work – bring raw honesty, vulnerability, and breakthroughs.
  • Partner & Small Group Practices – deepen connection and trust.
  • Nature Walks & Contemplation – regulate the nervous system and attune you to presence.
  • Radical Responsibility Practices – help you own your story, forgive yourself, and move forward free of blame.

Each session is designed to reconnect you to your body, awaken emotional intelligence, and ground your power in awareness.

4. Why is it important for men to gather in a space dedicated specifically to them?

Because men need spaces where they can drop the performance.

In mixed settings, many men unconsciously hold back — afraid to overwhelm, to be judged, or to expose their raw truth. A dedicated men’s space allows full expression — rage, grief, laughter, tenderness — without filters.

Here, men can face themselves and each other with honesty. Less distraction, more depth. It’s where we can release anger safely, rediscover our hearts, and reclaim our natural integrity.

5. What do you hope participants will take away — personally, relationally, and collectively?

You’ll leave with more energy, less drama, and a heart that feels like home.

Personally:

·   Greater calm and clarity under pressure.

·   A stable emotional center and sharper focus.

·   Freedom from habits that drain your vitality.

Relationally:

·   Healthier communication and empathy.

·   The courage to repair and forgive.

·   Deeper connection without losing yourself.

Collectively:

·   A clearer sense of purpose.

·   A lived understanding that awakening is not solitary — it ripples outward.

You’ll embody the path of:
Wake up – Remember who you are and raise your vibrational field.
Grow up – Evolve through integrity and accountability.
Mess up – Learn from mistakes; they are your greatest teachers.
Clean up – Repair, release, and integrate your shadow.
Show up – Live as a heart-centered, responsible man.
Open up – Trust life again; allow infinite possibilities to unfold.

6. What would you say to a man who feels curious but hesitant about joining?

Curiosity is the door to freedom. Every man who has ever grown — in love, courage, or wisdom — has done so by stepping into the unknown.

If part of you is drawn here, trust that instinct. You don’t need to “fix” yourself; you just need to show up. This isn’t about being macho or enlightened — it’s about being real.

When one man rises, he lifts others with him. We’ve got your back. Come as you are — leave with more of who you truly are.


Join Evangelos at Mandali on January 23-28 2026, for Awakening the Masculine Heart: A Men’s Mindfulness Retreat,  a journey into presence, purpose, and the freedom of living with an open heart.

Posted in Body, Mind, Philosophy, SoulTagged awareness, habits, meditation, men's retreat, mindfulness, practice

Some Ideas on How to Continue after a Retreat

Posted on by Silvia Eriksson

At the end of a retreat I am often asked how to continue a regular meditation practice once we get home.

Usually, on a retreat everyone is meditating together at the same time and everything is laid out for us making it easy do the meditation. It can sometimes feel harder not to practise!

When we get home the opposite is true. Suddenly there is so much to do and so many demands on our time. And however much we may have felt the benefits from a daily meditation practice while on retreat once back home we just forget to do it.

Ironically, it’s while caught up in the busyness of daily life that we may need meditation the most. 

Be Realistic

Often we leave the retreat with high hopes. We are inspired to keep up a regular meditation practice, which is great, but we should be realistic. 

Know that:

  • Even small amounts of practice can have a huge impact.
  • You don’t think you have to do hours of meditation every day for it to be beneficial.
  • It’s much better to succeed at doing 5 minutes a day rather than fail at trying to do 1 hour per day.
  • A little meditation regularly more important than bursts of lots occasionally)
  • Richard Davidson (neuroscientist, professor, and pioneering researcher into the impact of meditation on the brain) has demonstrated that even 8 minutes a day for 2 weeks had a measurable impact on the brain

Short Term Goal

—Make a short term commitment to meditate every day for 1 month (or even 10 days). At the end of that period evaluate whether it’s helping you. If it is, then keep going. Maybe make another goal. If not, give it up and do something else.

—Knowing we only have to continue for a fixed time makes it easier to stick to. We know we can give it up at the end of that time but it also gives us a good opportunity to test out if meditation is helpful for us.

—Don’t give up if you miss a day. Maybe you made a commitment to meditate for 10 minutes every day but something came up on day 6 and you didn’t practice. No problem. That’s life. Just puck it up the next day. Some research suggests that the most successful approach is to aim for every day bit to give ourselves 2 ‘get out’ days per week. Then if we don’t managed to meditate on 1or 2 days we don’t give up and sacrifice the whole project. 

How to Form a Habit

If we can make a habit of meditation then we don’t have to keep making ourselves do it. It just starts to happen automatically. These tips apply to any habit, not just meditation:

—Meditating at the same time every day helps. For some people this is the morning but find a time that suits you. If you really can’t find time at home then maybe on the train, or in a break.

—Meditating every day  helps form the habit much quicker than occasional practice. Even if it’s just 1 minute a day, we will create the habit of sitting.

—Attach your meditation to a pre-existing habit (piggyback!) Find something you do every day, brushing your teeth for example, and decide to practice meditation after that.

—Reward yourself – nice cup of tea/coffee/chocolate…

Trigger / Action / Reward is the basis of forming habits. The gratitude and appreciation that we bring at the end of each practice is also a subtle reward. Saying ‘well done’ and thanking ourselves.

• Don’t judge your practice. There is no such thing as a bad meditation (the only bad meditation is the one you don’t do)

• If you can, create a beautiful space in your house or apartment. It can be very simple, but a clean, clear space – with no distractions. A place you like to go.

Some Additional but Important Points

—Don’t make a separation between your formal meditation and everyday life. We are not trying to become expert meditators on the cushion and then be completely stressed out and distracted during the day.

Find moments during the day to come back to a simple awareness of the present moment – a single breath, or just aware of sounds…. This will really help to bring mindfulness and awareness into everything we do – until eventually it just becomes how we are.

Formal practice will help you remember to come back to these moments during the day.

The more you do this the easier and quicker you will be able to re-centre and ground yourself during the day. Just one breath can bring you straight back into the practice.

—Come together with people. This is really important. Once a week, or even once a month can be such a great help in maintaining inspiration. Find a local group. If that isn’t possible then try to connect digitally (even knowing someone, somewhere is meditating with you can help)

—In Amsterdam: The Meditation Cafe has morning and evening meditations. Feel free to drop in.

Apps

—The Plum Village app. A beautiful app that allows you to time a daily practice with start, stop, and interval bells. There are teachings and other features including a nice way to set mindfulness reminders through the day.

Teachers 

Below are a few Tibetan Buddhist teachers of the Nyingma and Kagyu tradition. They have written a number of books, all of which I would highly recommend, but I have given a few suggestions that may be a good place to start. I also share links to their organisations.  

—Sogyal Rinpoche

His book, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, gives a thorough introduction to Tibetan Buddhism. It also has a full description of the tonglen practice.

His organisation is  Rigpa

—Dzigar Kogtrul Rinpoche, 

His book, Training in Tenderness, is an excellent support for the loving kindness practice. 

His organisation is Mangalashribhuti

—Mingyur Rinpoche,

His first book is, Joy of Living

His organisation is Tergar

—Tsoknnyi Rinpoche,

His organisation is Pundarika

—Jetsun Khandro Rinpoche

And Finally

What I’ve described here are some tips that different people have found useful over time but most important is your own journey of trial and error. Learn what works best for you. Give something a go, see how it works, review and then adapt accordingly.

Feel free to share in the comments what works best for you and any different approaches that you have found to be particularly helpful.

The 6 Keys to Happiness

Posted on by Silvia Eriksson

Real Happiness is not based on external circumstances.

This is one of the main lessons we receive in our studies of yoga philosophy, so how can you feel more happiness even if life is not always up to giving it?

These are the 6 keys to happiness:

1. Know Yourself

Get to know yourself on deeper levels. Use your yoga practice to connect to the part in you that is everlasting, permanent through all of life’s changes. Your soul’s essence always remains at ease and in peace, you’ll get to know it with meditation and a calm mind, mostly in moments of stillness.

Knowing yourself also includes getting to understand what triggers you and acknowledging your “dark sides” and your limitations. Yin Yoga is a wonderful practice for this.

2. Fulfill Your Potential

Seeds need sun, water and nutrition in order to grow. In the same sense you need to gather your forces and your power to fulfill your potential, your desires. Who are the people who see you and support you to grow? What practices help you gain more confidence and courage?

3. Be Courageous

Choose to live from your heart, no matter if life’s circumstances are pleasant or challenging. Cultivate your intuition and follow it. Become aware of the power of intention and resolve, it will help you push through any obstacles. You are committed to stay true to yourself and this will make you feel proud of yourself.

4. Serve The Greater Good

Remember that you are a part of the bigger web, you are not isolated. Whenever self doubt and fear creeps in remember the greater good and how you can serve with what you have to offer. This will be stronger that your ego which might want to keep you small. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world, so keep sharing your story and your light.

Here’s a wonderful quote by Martha Graham:

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.”

5. Non-Attachment To The Outcome

Ever felt a deep inner calling? Maybe you didn’t follow it because you were to concerned about the outcome? Let go of the attachment to the outcome, do what you need to do because it’s your inner calling. You will find a deep satisfaction in doing so and inspire others to follow. The universe works in magical ways!

6. Have Faith

Cultivating faith is the understanding that life is perfect in all its imperfections. It doesn’t need to be any different for you to be happy. Trust that life reflects back to you exactly what you need to learn to grow. Imperfection leads to Evolution. Your affirmation: I may need to change, but Life does not.

Which of the 6 keys resonated most with you? I love to hear from you in the comments. And if you’d like to listen to these 6 keys in a yin yoga practice please head over to Dagmar’s YouTube channel for the video. Enjoy!

Unravelling the Mystery of Self-Confidence

Posted on by Silvia Eriksson

When we start a new project or interact with new people, relationships in general and intimate relationships, we need a certain ground, a certain degree of self-confidence that we will be able to handle what comes up and can deal with potential difficulties and unforeseen events. We need to feel relaxed,
settled in ourselves and ready to embrace success, failure and all the possibilities in between so we can engage with the vicissitudes of life with ease.

Self-confidence is not a thought, not a belief, not an emotion but something more subtle, almost innate, not something that is coming from anything but ourselves.

Self-confidence is also not the guarantee of success, success is a desirable outcome but is not the real drive, the drive is the desire of being fully engaged with life, to fully participate.

When self-confidence is not present, we don’t feel capable, we are uncertain if we want to venture or not, and we feel the absence of the underlying, innate sense of confidence.

“Self-confidence isn’t a thought or an emotion, it’s something innate and
subtle that comes from within. Cultivate it by staying present in the moment
and letting go of the need to control outcomes.”

When that happens we develop all kinds of psychological maneuvres to avoid the underlying sense of deficiency and inadequacy stemming from the idea of potential failure and the fact that we cannot foresee all the possible outcomes and twists to our venture.

Some try to summon self-confidence by simply believing that they will be able to succeed, and some summon self-confidence by seeking confirmation about the belief that they will make it through others around them, especially people close to them. That strategy can work for a while but it can easily be
shaken by just a simple comment from someone we trust, a remark, or even a simple joke. When that happens we feel deflated and collapsed or in certain cases, we react and start to attempt to prove that we are capable, we might even get into an argument about it. We can engage in endless internal conversations in an attempt to find evidence to support that belief but often the perceived certainty can be shaken very easily.

So what is Real Self-confidence, where is it arising from, and how come it is there, we are not even thinking about it? How can it be so obvious when we see it present in others that we almost envy them for it?

In our work, we have seen that self-confidence stems from our connection to ourselves, in our capacity to stay focused on our current experience, with what is really happening now. That connection will inspire us, gauge our capacities in real time and inform us on how much we can do, when, and what we might need to learn to be able to continue in our journey. Sometimes we might need to slow down, sometimes we might need to push, it all depends on the circumstances and our actual capacities and resources available.

How do we connect with ourselves to the extent that we find our innate self- confidence?

We find out that we need to actually relax into ourselves, and when we stop trying, we will naturally do what we are capable of and learn how to do what we are not yet capable of. We also learn how to stop when it’s not really worth the effort. It’s a kind of inner wisdom that is arising from being a human.
Sometimes we fail, and sometimes we succeed, all that is part of our learning experience and we welcome both. The losses are not seen as such, but are actually necessary learning experiences that will help us be the best version of ourselves.

In practice, we basically need to learn how to be present, be in the moment, relax and wait for the innate impulse to arise spontaneously. Sometimes we might lose faith and go back to trying, not out of the love for that action but to escape the uncomfortable feeling of the absence of self-confidence. In those
cases, we might peruse things that are not actually close to our hearts just to fill the sense of lack.

Self-confidence is not arising from our mind, so thinking about success or failure is just a way to disconnect from our gut’s wisdom and consequentially feel insecure, the head cannot do the job of the gut. Like when we are going for a hike and come across an obstacle, if we think about it too much, that is if to jump or not, we end up misgauging our step and stumble. When we trust our instincts, so to say, we mostly make it without any problem and if the gap is too big we just jump inside it or find a way around it.

Our gut does not work only for physical situations but also for life direction and our sentimental life, we need guts to start a new business and to tell someone we love them. So, the simple practice to be present in the moment can awaken our connection with our gut and as a consequence our innate instinctual
capacities. We can then trust ourselves, experiencing that as an innate sense of capacity and confidence.

In conclusion, self-confidence is not something that can be summoned or faked. It comes from a deep connection to ourselves and the ability to stay present and focused on our current experience. It is not about striving for success at all costs, but rather about fully engaging in life and embracing all
the ups and downs that come with it. By learning to relax into ourselves and trust our innate wisdom, we can find the self-confidence needed to face any challenge and embrace our journey with ease.

Remember, the next time you find yourself lacking self-confidence, take a moment to connect with
yourself and trust in your own capabilities. You may be surprised at just how capable you truly are.

Emilio Mercuriali is a teacher of the Diamond Logos. Join him for his study retreat series ‘Journey to Essence’


Journey to Essence

Gratitude: Our Human Superpower

Posted on by Silvia Eriksson

Every creature on this planet has at least one superpower. Ants can carry 50 times their
own bodyweight, hummingbirds can fly backwards, humans can express gratitude. This
may sound trite, but gratitude is our superpower. A superpower we know about, pay lip
service too, but don’t fully take into our hearts and honour.

There is plenty of scientific research, proving what the wisdom traditions have always
known to be true: Gratitude makes us happier, healthier, and kinder.
How does our superpower work? Science has found that gratitude both triggers the
release of dopamine and serotonin and reduces cortisol levels.

This translates into gratitude:

Improves the quality of sleep
Strengthens the immune system
Alleviates physical pain
Optimises blood pressure and cardiac functioning
Improves digestions
Leads to greater emotional intelligence and resilience
Improves communication and interpersonal relationships
Deepens ones sense of connection with others and the planet.
Promotes empathy and self-love

Sounds like a superpower to me.
Let’s take a moment to explore this superpower. Is it possible to sense it for ourselves? To
feel it in our cells?

Take a few breaths and see how you are feeling at this moment. Notice where you are
reading this. At home, in transit? Is it quiet or loud? Are you at ease, stressed, a mix of
both? What are your internal vibes like? Notice your breath and how your body feels.
Take a few more breaths to fully feel into all of this.

Now take a moment and think of five things/people/places/etc you are grateful for.
Count them on your fingers. Breathe each one in and on the exhale offer it your gratitude.
I will breathe along with you. I am grateful for: My eyesight and the colour blue. The sound
of water. The taste of cinnamon. The smell of a cedar forest. The feeling of sunshine on
my belly.

How do you feel now? Was there a shift in your body or mood?
Each time I take a moment like this, where I pause and truly feel in freshly what am I
grateful for in the moment, I do notice the shift. Something, I hadn’t realised had frozen in
me, always melts. My shoulders drop. There is a sense of more space in my chest. I feel a
little lighter and more capacitated.

Of course, the beat passes. Life continues. Things get complicated, stressful, messy.…
Our superpower needs cultivation. There are three circumstances where we need to focus
on building up our capacity to be grateful:

  • When things are going badly
  • When things are fine
  • When thing are doing great

Let’s start with “when things are going great.” For example, you are on holiday or a retreat.
Many years ago, while I was on retreat, Luis, a volunteer at the center taught me a
precious grift. He taught me to say, “Yes thank you. That would be great.” Time after time,
Luis came up to me offering me things: an extra pillow, towel, hot water bottle (I was
camping and its was raining and cold). My reflex at first was to say, “no thank you. I’m
okay.” Each time I did, he looked so disappointed. When I changed my mind and said, “yes
please,” his face lit up. He practically ran off and to get me whatever extra treat it was he
wanted to share with me.

On the last day of the retreat, Luis was still eating lunch when I was bringing in my dishes.
He turned to me and asked, “Would you like chocolate covered strawberries?”
“That sounds amazing Luis. I would love some.” He jumped up with the biggest smile and ran into the kitchen. A moment later, he was there with a plate full of chocolate covered strawberries.

Luis taught me to delight his generosity. To accept it fully. To be grateful for the beauty and
comfort that is there and be open to even more. A favourite film always comes to mind
when I think of Luis. “Thankyouhappymoreplease.” That’s the title of film and such a
great way to meet life when thing are going well. “Thankyouhappymoreplease.”

What about accessing gratitude, “when things are going badly?” Like this summer, when
visiting my family after four years, I got an ear infection and ended up in the emergency
room in a lot of pain. It is natural at moments like this to give out. Equally natural is to feel
grateful. Lying in pain, I did my gratitude practice. I counted on my fingers what am I
grateful fir in this moment? Thankful for the hospital. Thankful for my access to it. Thankful
to all the people working in it. Thankful for the antibiotics and their superpower magic.
Thankful for my body. Yes thankful to my body that was in a lot of pain.

It’s so easy to blame and judge our bodies. To beat them up when they don’t work as we
want them to. My poor ear got attacked and it was doing all that is could to fight off the
infection. Bodies get injured and sick. Bodies age. That’s what bodies do and usually they
are blamed for it. In reality, they are doing their best with what they have got to keep us
alive and ticking. I think that deserves recognition and a whole lot of appreciation.

Of course it’s not easy to do when we are sick and in pain. But when we can, the pain, the
sickness, is so much easier to bear. Remember reading above, science has proven that
gratitude alleviates physical pain. It does. There is still pain but instead of being in conflict
with the pain, fighting the pain, we are befriending it. We are turning towards the difficult
sensations with our superpower. “Thank you body for doing your best. I know it is
really hard right now.”

Finally, how do we cultivate more gratitude “when things are fine?” This is the neutral
flavour, which I find can be the most tricky. We tend to tune out when things are just
flowing along. We distract ourselves and don’t fully pay attention to what is going on. This
leads to more automatic pilot living, which is a duller, more disconnect life.

One way to remember to practice gratitude in the normal moments is with a gratitude
stone. I love collecting tiny smooth stones from beaches or river beds. I often gift them to
others. Inviting people to keep them in the pocket of a favourite jacket or bag. Each time
your hand comes in contact with the stone, you pause and think of one thing you are
grateful for. Then you move on with your day.

It is a simple act and can read as cheesy, but I swear it makes a difference. The more we
practice gratitude, the more me make this a neural pattern. Changing it from a trait to a
state. Hebb’s Law states, “neurons that fire together, wire together.” Making happiness
easily accessible in our day to day living no matter what we currently encountering.
I will leave you with one last bit of science pertaining to our superpower. Expressing and
feeling gratitude affect the brain differently. There is more activity in the medial prefrontal
cortex when one expresses gratitude.

So feeling grateful is one thing, but expressing it is something that much more powerful. So I invite to do all the above out loud. Or if that is not your style, write it down. It’s pretty awesome knowing you have a superpower. It is even more fantastic using. Enjoy!

6 Ways to Cultivate a Summer Practice

Posted on by Silvia Eriksson

Summer is here, and there is so much to celebrate. Travel season is finally open, the weather is amazing and I feel light, energetic and hopeful. People around me are smiling, I live in the South of France and the combination of rivers, mountains, beach (and the aperitivo) is simply intoxicating. All of life’s regular challenges seem easy to tackle, even work, as I actually I get the busiest during summer.

BUT, there is also a nagging thought “why don’t I feel like this all the time”?  I have to admit I get a little anxious about how short the summer is and that it might be over soon. I tell myself, well, let’s just be in the moment, and put away whatever is coming next. Just enjoy it. 

Its not a seasonal thing! 

Here’s the thing: I spent 12 years of my life living in a year around summer climate, and trust me, ‘The Blues’ can come anywhere, any time, and they are not seasonal! Our inner sense of satisfaction, our ability to be mindful and grounded in the present is something we can cultivate to be lasting year around. Actually, THIS is our practice. 

Our inner sense of satisfaction, our ability to be mindful and grounded in the present is something we can cultivate to be lasting year around. Actually, THIS is our practice. 

This time of year  is so rich and filled with beauty, its easy to feel connected to the earth, to nature, family and community. Summer time is a  great opportunity to deepen our practice, and at the same time can be distracting and we can completely fall out of it because we are in ‘vacation mode’. 

Ideas on how to bring your mindfulness, meditation, and yoga practice to life during summer: 

  1. Plan your practice. As you plan your summer, make an intention about your practice too. Schedule it in, allow it to be a priority.  If you are going on vacation, bring your meditation cushion and your mat. Inform the people you spend time with about it, and that you would like to be free of distraction during that time.  
  1. Honour the sunrise. If you have the chance, try waking up early and practice with the sunrise. There is something auspicious and peaceful about this time, and it IS easier to wake up early in the summer, so why not make the most of it.
  1. Write about it. My grandmother once told me that if you want to remember beautiful moments and make them a part of you forever, write them down. Even with photos, the moment could slip by.  When we bring writing into our daily lives, we might also see the world differently, notice more details about the beauty and wonders of our experiences.
  1. Connect to your creativity. Bring out the old pencils, colours, knitting, half written poetry, dusty instruments. Take it with you on vacation and spend some ME time with your creative outlet. There’s nothing like being in the flow of creation in the present moment, and you might even end the summer with a beautiful finished project.
  1. Listen to your body. If it is rest that you need, then take the rest. Let yourself connect to your natural rhythm, your own pace this summer. It’s ok to opt out, be ‘unproductive’, and just lounge about. I love getting sweaty and doing all the activities when I have time off and that’s all good. But it can be exhausting. It’s all about balance and what YOU need.
  1. Take some silent time. There’s a lot of social stuff going on, and we love it. Give yourself some silent time, even just an hour here and there. It’s a gift. Maybe you have some time off work, you can put the phone away for a few hours a day, or longer! 

In time with regular practice, whatever it is that your chosen lineage, school or teacher is, it will become a part of you and trickle into your daily life, no matter where you are or what you are doing. That’s the beauty of it, it just takes a little attention and dedication for a while, and then it becomes naturally inviting. Summer is a great time to start!

About Silvia

Silvia is a Yoga teacher, physiology enthusiast, and spiritual seeker. She is passionate about making the yoga practice accessible and functional for everyone and helping others find their personal expression with joyful movement.  Read full bio

Want Peace? Embrace The Conflict.

Posted on by Kasia

Want Peace? Embrace The Conflict.

The paradox of the compassionate heart

A Tibetan monk, who had spent more than 18 years in a Chinese prison labour camp, told the Dalai Lama that on a few occasions he really faced some danger. So, he asked him, ‘What danger? What kind of danger?’, thinking he would tell him of Chinese torture and prison. The monk replied, ‘Many times I was in danger of losing compassion for the Chinese.’

The recent war in Ukraine reminds me of one thing. We are in danger, in danger of ourselves. When I look around, I notice that people are angry, afraid, and feel powerless. And rightly so, but with whom are we angry, who are we afraid of and why do we feel disempowered? 

At the heart of the problem lies our denial as a species that we are not just aware, loving, and caring beings but we have the potential to be killers as well. The spectrum of what the human being is capable of is vast; on one end we can love unconditionally and on the other end we can kill and destroy cold-heartedly for our own benefit. Now, this is the part of us that we don’t like being reminded of; our dark side or the shadow as Carl Jung called it. Our unloved Self is too shameful, painful, or traumatic to bring into the light and acknowledge. Acknowledge that this is part of who we are, what we have done, what we have created.

And by that very suppression of our dark side over years, decades and centuries, individually and collectively, we have created a massive polarised energetic charge that continues to infuse conflict in ourselves and thereby the world around us. Just like any pressure, that charge seeks expression. And this is what we see in and around us all the time; an excess charge that is trying to find a way out.

As long as we keep coming into action from that old unresolved business, we will have more of that pain and suffering again. This is no rocket science. Well actually it is…quantum physics shows us over and over again that we create our reality on a moment-by-moment basis based on the thoughts, beliefs, and preferences we’ve subscribed to in the past. So, if we hold a tense and contracted state of reality in ourselves, we will see that same reality manifest around us. We are co-creative beings of our reality, not victims to it. 

As much as we would like it to all just go away, we have to deal with the mess we created. But it won’t if we keep coming from the same principles we applied to live in the past. Einstein reminded us of this when he said that we can’t solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.

And apart from the same thinking, it might not even be thinking at all that is going to get us out of the woods. It could very well be that the thinking mind is never going to get us to the place where sensible solutions to problems can present themselves: the present moment. And it can’t because the job description of the thinking mind is to seek, to go out on a quest to find something other than ‘this’. ‘This’ is the very moment in which life manifests as it does. And that manifestation is all-inclusive, not just peace and harmony but also conflict, pain, fear, and all other aspects of life.

Now we may want to ask ourselves if this is a problem. I have come to see that we don’t suffer from being afraid but from our inability and resistance to consciously experience that fear. Our judgment, fear, and denial of that which life presents and our immediate need to fix it creates the very charge we hold on to as stress and which we keep feeding back into the system, thereby perpetuating conflict.

In my belief and experience, the solution to this can come from our compassionate hearts. Contrary to the thinking mind our compassionate heart has the ability to experience all aspects of life freely in all its intensity without knowing or understanding. At the same time, the compassionate heart has the ability to let that experience be without personalizing or needing to fix it.

In this sense, compassion exposes the illusion that what happens in this very moment is personal and needs fixing. It is simply how life unfolds. True compassion ends the personal drama and sees life as it really is; a free fall of endless possibilities. 

The union of compassion and being aware of how life is now having an immediate and noticeable energetic effect. It will release the old charges and prevent them from building up again. The effect of us holding less charge from the past is that we no longer project it into the reality of tomorrow. 

If we apply this principle to war, for example, we have to make an entirely irrational step in how we have dealt with this before. We now need to consciously move towards something that we previously tried so hard to run away from. And rather than fix it we now let it be. We can see it for what it really is; an aspect of life that has come into manifestation. Letting war be, does not mean approving of war or condoning it. That is what your mind will tell you in facing the compassionate embrace, which instantly ends the story it wants to keep going so badly.

What happens is simply astonishing. We will lose charge around our perception of war. And by no longer holding that charge in us we don’t feed it into the reality we manifest in and around us. When more and more people practice this and thereby end their contribution to the conflict, we literally disempower the war. Not by fighting it, opposing it, or trying to fix it but by embracing war as part of life as it could potentially manifest.

This is a much more aware and realistic approach to living. We need to get real, wake up. Life is not just a fluffy cloud of pink marshmallows; it is a living system of endless diversity and potential. What part of that potential comes to life is up to us. The first step is to take responsibility and deal with our creations from the past in a conscious way by no longer giving them energy. Denying it or running away from it didn’t get us anywhere. Neither did peace demonstrations. Taking sides only leads to more polarisation, energising the very things we wanted to put an end to. Noticing the present moment in an aware state and embracing that which presents ends the unconscious re-creation of the past and gives way to a much more harmonic principle that is no longer based on our personal limitations that come from fear, greed, and ignorance.

When we move out of a contracted state of being we come into the flow. A natural state of energy, which moves into directions that benefits all of nature. The actions and decisions we then make come out of clarity and awareness and have quite a different outcome than the ones we used to make from our contracted states of being.

We can no longer exclude the parts of life we don’t like or want and thereby polarise and charge them. We need to learn to embrace the diversity of life and experience it without reservations, including the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Does this mean we will never be angry again, that there won’t be any fights? It is a romantic idea but completely unrealistic. Trying to achieve that would be missing the point here. Look at life, it is everything. Making ourselves consciously available to all of it allows us to experience its endless diversity and intensity, without being a victim to it any longer. I believe it is the only way to freedom and peace. 

A Tibetan monk, who had spent more than 18 years in a Chinese prison labour camp, told the Dalai Lama that on a few occasions he really faced some danger. So, he asked him, ‘What danger? What kind of danger?’, thinking he would tell him of Chinese torture and prison. The monk replied, ‘Many times I was in danger of losing compassion for the Chinese.’

How to connect with your body?

Posted on by Kasia

When we talk about body-oriented work or somatic work we intend to focus on the connection between body and mind. We believe that the relationship with ourselves, with others, and the world around us is strongly conditioned by this connection. One of the basic elements of this approach is that the person experiences itself not only in the mind but above all through physical sensations and feelings. We can consider this a “bottom-up” approach because it starts from exploring the physical and emotional perceived and then subsequently access the processing of the mental arena.

Essential concepts of this work:

• Body, mind, and emotions are always in interaction. We can consider them three intelligences that influence each other.

• The body can be a guiding tool in inner growth.

• Physical sensations, emotions, images, thoughts, or reasonings can represent a map through which the person in this approach can get to know him/herself.

• The body through its posture and the tonicity, tensions, or stiffness represents an armor that defines either a physical structure or a character structure that is correlated. 

• The person is animated by energies (mental, emotional, and physical). The well-being of the person lies in the natural flow of energy loading and unloading. When the natural flow comes disturbed, interrupted, or altered, one can experience physical, emotional, and relational stress or dysfunctions.

• The body records and maintains memories of lived experiences including traumatic ones. When these experiences are not integrated and processed, they are created, physical blocks, held emotions, physical dysfunctions, and relational dysfunctions.

How does the method used in Feel Free work?

In both individual and group meetings, the person who wants to work on a topic starts by exposing it. During the exposure work, we try to bring attention to what is happening in the present moment and in the body. In observing the body, the person is asked to: slow down, avoid getting lost in a long description of its history and draw attention to any physiological changes caused by tensions, contractions, or sensations of release or expansion during sharing.

The intent is to accompany the person in an exploration of himself, of the held emotions, of his physical state, of the awareness of the body-mind connection. This exploration is intended to support restoring a greater sense of inner expansion and well-being.

Depending on the physical and character structure of the person and on the theme expressed, the work may be accompanied by body movements, breathing exercises, listening exercises, physical sensations, interior dialogue, and the meanings attributed to one’s own experience. The proposed work is carried out based on the person and what they can contain and process.

The techniques, exercises, and work methodologies used within the session can be different: from Gestalt therapy to Core Energetics work, to the techniques used in somatic experiencing, to the use of conscious breathing, mindfulness, and meditation. 

Who can this experience help?

In this holistic view of the person, physical or mental discomforts or disorders are considered on the same level of importance. Many of the issues of emotional distress have somatization in the body and acting on the body, they can be transformed into an experience of well-being for the person who does the work of inner growth.

Often chronic pain, insomnia, poor digestion, physical and mental fatigue, apathy, anxiety, the difficulty in creating satisfying and healthy relationships, are all signs of discomfort or trauma not yet completely elaborate and could benefit from somatic work.

What benefits can this work bring?

This work helps people to be more present in themselves and more aware of it. Thoughts, physical and emotional sensations, and our behaviors are all connected. It allows us to move more easily from a state of emotional disturbance to a state of greater inner stability. When we work on traumatic past episodes it allows us to manage the sense of emotional overwhelm and to re-establish the state of stillness and centeredness more easily. Increase our resilience and ability to tolerate the complexity of daily challenges. It increases the sense of inner security, creating greater confidence in oneself and in life.

How can QiGong help our mind and body during this unstable period?

Posted on by Kasia

Fast-paced and demanding everyday life can make us physically and mentally overwhelmed and exhausted. Especially now, when we still feel the effects of pandemics and our inner batteries run low on energy. QiGong is a method through which any person regardless of age and physical form, can acquire skills and knowledge necessary for a healthy and joyful life. The practice offers a quick energy recovery and a peaceful mind during everyday activities. QiGong works on three levels: the mind and mental health; body and self-care; as well as soul- consciousness.

So how can QiGong be useful for you? Being a system of breathing, physical exercises, and body meditation, it helps to relax muscles, relieve stress, and calm your thoughts. Consequently, it positively affects your mood and body health. The exercises regulate metabolism, lengthen and deepen breathing, massage internal organs, and thus help to relax emotionally and physically. These practices used by ancient warriors back in the days,  today become a great recovery complex and favourite source of energy for the whole day.  · 

Key benefits of QiGong:

  • releases stress
  • removes psychic and muscle tension
  • massages internal organs
  • strengthens muscles and stretches tendons 
  • concentrates our attention 
  • improves breathing
  • teaches us to consciously work with energy

Moreover, QiGong increases body mobility as during the practice almost all muscles are involved in the work. They repeatedly strain and relax, giving you an experience of a combination of dynamic and static movements. Your bodily posture gets improved as a lot of attention is put on the spine, lower back and coordination of all parts of the body. Last but not least, it helps to prevent diseases by stimulating the immune system, releasing stress, relieving muscle tension, and enhancing the processes of removing toxins from the body. In the mental aspects, Qigong teaches you how to release emotional blockages, relax and concentrate. You also get a sense of control over your own energy. The practice makes you an active, cheerful, and creative person. 

What happens during the practice:

  • the internal, mental dialogue silences
  • physical tension of muscles drops
  • you are in the moment – here and now
  • you experience a feeling of inner harmony
  • your intuition increases 
  • your attention is being trained

The history of Qi-Gong dates back to 5000 years. It is thought to have originated as a form of “remedy dancing” created for healing and health preservation purposes. Due to the long-term struggles with nature, the ancients gradually realized that body movement, exclamations, and various ways of breathing could help readjust certain body functions. In China, the country of origin of the practice, Qi Gong is very popular. The government supports the practice of health exercises and funds research and teaching institutes. The current categories in China include a variety of systems. They are differentiated as either health exercises for preventing disease and maintaining health or for healing existing conditions of disease and recovering fully. 

About Olga:

Olga WuWei received direct transmission of ancient knowledge from a recognized Chinese Master-  净空, Jing Kong meaning Clear Emptiness. She lived 6 years in China, 2 years at the mountain in WuWei Zen temple being a direct student of the Master, in order to bring these eastern practices and philosophy of China to the West. Over the years, she transferred knowledge in China to Chinese and foreign students, in Ukraine, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Georgia and Italy. Now she has hundreds of students from more than 20 countries around the world.